I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
They have beer where we have blood.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
