The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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