you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
