I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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