By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
