I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
