he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
