i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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