Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
