No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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