She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
