some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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