Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am one with the molecules
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
