big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
