So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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