Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I need a burrito and a hug.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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