A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
