well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
3pm strippers are depressing
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
