you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
