Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
