from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
