Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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