i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So squirting runs in the family.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
