dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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