You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize