so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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