nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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