I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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