She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
