I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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