playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
