Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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