she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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