i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
