Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
