i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
