This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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