remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
