Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
