Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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