Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
