So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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