The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
