Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
