dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
