I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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