Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
