Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
