Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
