That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
